


Whiskey kiss

by Whitewalkerqueen



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Tension, Will probably change the title, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitewalkerqueen/pseuds/Whitewalkerqueen
Summary: After Thomas took a beating for Jimmy, they agreed to be friends. But how long will that last ?





	1. The Thank you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Needs Must](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6911206) by [Riddle_Me_This_Darling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddle_Me_This_Darling/pseuds/Riddle_Me_This_Darling). 



> This is my first fanfic for this Fandom. I am just smitten with them and can’t get enough. 
> 
> I apologize for the grammar and stuff as I am just way to excited to publish this and don’t have time to edit. 
> 
> Please leave a comment or suggestion. I will read them all and take all into consideration. 
> 
> I probably won’t follow the canon but I am definitely going to use elements but the timeline doesn’t match. The big change is Jimmy never left. 
> 
> I solemnly swear to never leave you hanging :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Thomas took a beating for Jimmy, he couldn’t keep his mind off of the hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic for this fandom ! I am very excited about this.
> 
> I always hate writing the first chapter because I never know where to start so it gets better afterwards ! 
> 
> Please enjoy

That smirk on Thomas’ face was wiped off when Jimmy asked him if he was following him. He got tense and shifted in this bed uncomfortably.

“Please sit down Jimmy” Thomas said uncomfortably. Jimmy reluctantly took the chair and brought it over to the side of the bed. The under Butler’s gaze was upon his hands and he was fidgeting with his fingers. Jimmy on the other hand was staring Thomas right in the face.

“So did you follow me?” Asked Jimmy again in a rushed tone. He had to know if this man, this sinner was following him. If so why was he following him. Thomas finally looked up at Jimmy.

“Yes” Thomas said quickly and looked back down at his hands. He was embarrassed that he was caught. Suddenly Thomas looked up because he heard Jimmy start to chuckle. “Why are you laughing?” He said.

“It’s funny. But I do owe you. Thank you very much. If you weren’t there I don’t know what would have happened to me” the footman said with his chuckle ending. Thomas started to smirk as the thought of him owing him was great. Jimmy Kent owing Thomas Barrow.

“You owe me. My pretty face took a beating for yours” the under butler said while shifting in his bed. “About what happened before... umm... Jimmy I’m—“ before he could finish Jimmy cut him off and smiled sincerely at him.

“Don’t worry about it Thomas. It’s in the past” Jimmy leaned backwards into his chair. “Besides I just want to be friends. We can still be friends”

Thomas’ heart skipped a beat. He didn’t hate him for what he had done “I’d like that... a lot. But I am sorry about that night Jimmy”. Thomas laid his head back onto the head board and rubbed his forehead “well I better get some sleep” he said closing his eyes. Jimmy simply nodded his head and bid him goodnight.

* * *

 

That night Jimmy sat on the edge of his bed thinking about the other night. The time when Thomas had snuck into his room and... and kiss him. He wasn’t repulsed anymore or disgusted or angry. He almost seemed to enjoy the thought. The feel of Thomas’ red lips touching his, the warmth, the softness.

Jimmy closed his eyes and he was suddenly back on that night with Thomas in his bed but this time Alfred didn’t walk in. Thomas was kissing him and Jimmy kissed him back. He opened his eyes and say the under butler kissing him. He didn’t feel the urge to push him away this time, he only wanted to deepen the kiss. He reached his hand up to touch Thomas’ smooth pale skin. He’s face was so soft, he had no scars or scratches from the fight. He didn’t want this to end. He wanted this to be real. He wanted this to have happened. Why did he push him away he thought.

 _“Jimmy you’re thinking of kissing another man”_ the voice in his head said.

The footman had sprung up from his bed in a sweat. He caught himself daydreaming about kissing Thomas. He wasn’t like that. He didn’t like men. He has kissed many girls before and he was simply just projecting that he said to reassure himself.

He didn’t find much sleep for the rest of the night. He was tossing and turning with thought of Thomas and then kissing then of him in jail for such things. Then the thought of Thomas in jail his heart stopped. This was not a thought he ever wanted to come true. “How stupid I was. Trying to get him thrown out on the street” he thought he himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters will be longer promise ! 
> 
> Please leave comments or suggestions


	2. The whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy couldn’t stop thinking of the night Thomas kissed him. Everyday every night it was on his mind. What will a bottle of whiskey bring for Jimmy ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chapter 2!
> 
> I totally wrote this while I was getting my tires changed ! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> I should mention that if there is any discrepancy from the show, well its a fanfic. I will try my best but I can’t remember everything and sometimes it doesn’t always work.

It had been a few days since they had spoken. Not necessarily because they were avoiding each other but simply because they were very busy. Lord Grantham had had several guests over which consisted of several dinners and luncheons. The footman and butlers a like were running around in every directions. The maids we’re constantly cleaning and the kitchen staff cooking all day. There was no time to have a conversation not even after all the fuss of the day was over. Not even at the servants dinner Thomas ate fast and returned to his duty. The guests finally left after luncheon today so it was much smoother and calmer. The servants ate dinner in the hall and most retreated to their rooms shortly after as they wanted to take advantage of the time to sleep. All but Thomas and Jimmy.

“Busy day. Thank god they all left!” Jimmy said with a smirk on his face. “I haven’t had time to even breathe”. 

Thomas looked up from his newspaper “it was indeed” and resume immediately reading the article. The footman was shifting in his chair. Pondering what he was gunna say next. The image of him and Thomas again flashed in his eyes. 

“I’ve been thinking about you” Jimmy blurted our. His cheeks instantly blushed red. His eyes widened with embarrassment and he begun to look away from Thomas. 

Thomas looked up abruptly from his paper and laid it down on this lap and begun to laugh “you have, haven’t you? Well I am flattered, Mr. Kent”. 

“I’m sorry... I’m going to go to bed now” Jimmy said as he stood from the chair. He was embarrassed that he said those words but it wasn’t a lie he had been thinking of him. That night after he left Thomas’ room and many other nights after that. Even during the day Thomas crossed his mind. The kiss crossed his mind and how he wanted to go back in time and stop Alfred from coming in. 

“Wait, Jimmy please stay” Thomas stood and reached for Jimmy’s arm “please stay, I’m sorry for laughing”. Jimmy looked down at Thomas’ hand on his arm. It was like electricity. Jimmy tried to shake himself free right away but Thomas just gripped tighter “please Jimmy” Thomas pleaded. 

“Alright but Thomas please let me go” said the footman while still trying to shake free. Thomas reluctantly let him go. “It’s getting late we can’t stay down here. Carson will come storming down and scold us both. I have a bottle of whiskey in my room. Let’s go share a drink” Jimmy said smiling at Thomas. The under butler was shocked. Jimmy invited him to his room, alone. This is what Thomas wanted. Well really it was any kind of interaction. 

Jimmy walked slowly to his room as to not wake anyone and Thomas was close behind. The whole time they walked towards Jimmy’s room the footman was beating himself up. He was so happy that he could spend more time with Thomas but was confused as to why he wanted too. Yes they were friends but that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to spend time with him, alone in his room. They reached the room and his placed his hand in his handle. He turned it really slowly partly to not wake anyone else up but partly because he was still unsure if this is what he wanted. Did he want to let this kind of sinner into his room, this law breaker. His hand had made the decision for him and had opened the door. 

“Shit!...Stay here and be quiet. I will grab the whiskey and we will have to go to your room. Alfred is here” Jimmy said. He slipped into his room and shut the door behind him. The footman managed to tip toe across the room past Alfred’s bed to his and grab the whiskey. He was ready to leave again but he stopped. What was he doing he thought. Going to a known homosexuals room alone. But it wasn’t just any it was Thomas and besides he liked woman. He liked their hair, their eyes, their smell, their red lips, Thomas’ red lips and he liked kissing them but he liked kissing Thomas well at least in his mind. This fuelled his legs and he tip tied back to the door. 

Thomas was waiting outside of Jimmy’s room in the hallway where all the room are past curfew. Carson would be furious if he discovered him out here. But that wasn’t the worst of his worries. Was Jimmy going to come back out ? Did he just leave him here ? Thomas’ stomach was churning with anger maybe fear he wasn’t sure. We we’re just friends he said to himself nothing will happened. Nothing can happen. Suddenly the door opened again and Jimmy popped back out. 

“Took you long enough” Thomas whispered “Let’s go before Mr. Carson comes out”. Thomas led the way now. Only a few doors down it was to his room. He opened the door and let Jimmy in. 

“I’m sorry my chair is broken. So you’ll have to sit on my bed” Thomas said still in a hush tone. 

“That’s alright. We’re just friends and friends can sit on a bed together” Jimmy said trying to lighten the mood. He went over and sat on the bed next to Thomas. He opened the bottle of whiskey and took a sip then passed it on. 

Several sips later they were both visibly tipsy. Jimmy had moved more comfortably onto the bed with both his legs up and leaning against the head board next to Thomas. “What a fine whiskey this is soon to be was” chucked Jimmy. Both men erupted into laughter. Jimmy slapped his hand over his mouth and the other over Thomas’ “shhh, we can’t wake the others” Jimmy said. Both men finally calmed and stopped laughing. Jimmy’s hand lingered on Thomas’ mouth and he looked over at the other. His lips were soft and a little bit moist. He moved his hand slightly to the side more on the cheek. He didn’t want to remove his hand completely as this reminded him on the kiss in his daydreams. He shifted his body to look him more straight in the eyes he didn’t know exactly what he was doing but he didn’t want to stop. His heart was beating very fast and he thought that Thomas might feel it. He passed his thumb a few times over Thomas’ cheekbone. 

Thomas was just as confused and curious as Jimmy was. His eyes were fixed on Jimmy. His touch was burning into Thomas’ skin like fire. This is what he wanted. He wanted for Jimmy to do this. But he didn’t know why he was at the moment. Thomas’ heart was racing equally as fast as Jimmy’s was. 

“Fuck it” Jimmy whispered almost under his breath and he plunged into to kiss Thomas. Jimmy held the kiss but Thomas wasn’t kissing back. Thomas was in shock. But Jimmy didn’t give up he continued to kiss him until finally Thomas kissed him back. Thomas became engulfed in the kiss and moved his hands to Jimmy’s hips. Their lips still together and moving with passion. All of Thomas was in this kiss and equally Jimmy. This was better then Jimmy’s daydream. 

Suddenly, Jimmy pulled away and looked down. He begun to shift away from Thomas and get up from the bed “I’m sorry Thomas” Jimmy said while walking towards the wall. Thomas was in shock like a little school girl after her first kiss. 

“Jimmy—“ Thomas tried to begin. But was interrupted by frantic Jimmy. 

“I must go. Good night” Jimmy said and walk out of the room in a hurry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment suggestions


	3. The hallway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the whiskey kiss, Jimmy just can’t sleep. What happens when he returns to Thomas’ door ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far. 
> 
> I was so gunna end it here but like I got side tracked and now we are gunna need more chapters.

Jimmy laid in his bed wide awake all night thinking about the incident. This time he had caused it. He contemplated all night what this meant for him. What was he ? He tried to justify it by saying he was drunk but he remembers very clearly what he did. He did it willingly. He wanted to kiss Thomas. And he wanted to do it again. Why did he run out he thought. Was Thomas still awake he thought. Jimmy wanted to go back. 

The sun was going to rise in a few hours and then everybody would be up and about. Jimmy’s heart hadn’t stopped beating fast since he left the room. 

“I’m going back” he thought aloud almost waking Alfred. And so he was. His feet had brought him to his door but he hesitated for a second then continued. He tip toed ever so quietly to Thomas’ room and froze. 

“What are you doing here” said the voice in his head “this is wrong. No man should want to kiss another man” 

But Jimmy wanted to kiss him again and maybe do more. Jimmy was almost repulsed at that thought. He didn’t want to think like that well he didn’t think he could think like that. Still standing in the hallway in front of Thomas’ door, he begun to regret what he was doing. He started to believe it was wrong. It was wrong to want a kiss or even more. Then he thought of their kiss and how Thomas’ lips felt. How soft and warm they were. He remembered how Thomas kissed him back and how passionate it had become. He started to imagine if he hadn’t broken the kiss what it would have been like. Jimmy would have broken the kiss and begun to kiss Thomas on his neck and then start to take off his slip off his coat then I bottom his waist coat. 

Jimmy was beginning feel something inside him, a feeling he normally gets when he sees a naked woman. He continued the daydream but has since slid down the wall on the floor of the hallway. 

After Jimmy had undone the waist coat, he would continue with his shirt, unbuttoning each button one by one and looking Thomas straight in the face with very passionate eyes almost loving. He slip the shirt off of his shoulders and leaned back to admire the other mans figure. Thomas had a surprisingly fit body in Jimmy’s head. 

On the hallway floor Jimmy had closed his eyes and subconsciously begun to stroke himself. 

Jimmy was amazed by Thomas’ body and he begun to kiss him down his neck and down his chest. He was to kiss every inch of his body. He ended up at his trousers and took them off relieving the mans cock. He wasn’t disgusted as he thought he might be but rather amused. As this was a daydream Jimmy skipped to the part where he was fucking Thomas like one of the girls he used to fuck. Thomas was on his back and Jimmy was on top. Jimmy looked Thomas right in the eyes and went down to kiss him and he thrust into Thomas. Moans were escaping Thomas and Jimmy’s mouths. 

Those moans from Jimmy were also happening in the hallway and were enough to catch Thomas’ attention inside his room. Thomas rose from his bed and went I the door. He begun to listen closer and could finally make them out. When he realized what they were it was hard for him to hold a laugh back. 

Jimmy and daydream Thomas were still moaning and kissing and fucking. Jimmy was thrusting hard in Thomas. “Thomas” Jimmy would whisper “ugh love, I’m almost there” he kept saying. Jimmy was in full bliss within seconds. 

Thomas was still listen and trying to hold back a laugh. He was still recovering from the kiss earlier that night. Thomas was in heaven. Every moment of that kiss was what he wanted. He wanted to go further but he wasn’t going to let it. Not unless Jimmy wanted to. He was sad but also relieved when Jimmy had stopped. He returned his focus to the door and the moaning Jimmy in the hallway. The moaning began to get faster and loud. Thomas hoped no one else would wake up and put Jimmy in an awkward position. Thomas wondered why he was at his door doing this. Perhaps it is because, just maybe, Jimmy wanted him. Thomas’ heart fluttered with excitement at that thought. The moaning was getting louder and final with Jimmy’s last moan he spoke only one name: Thomas.

Thomas was shocked at what he just heard. Jimmy was just getting himself off to Thomas. He could believe it. He quickly ran back to his bed has he heard Jimmy get up from the floor and return to his bedroom. Thomas let out a sigh of relief as he would have not known what to do if he had come in. 

Thomas laid in his bed quietly thinking about Jimmy. Not in a sexual way as Jimmy did Thomas earlier but a loving way. The same way he thought about him before he kissed Jimmy that one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated so I know if you like it or not !


	4. The Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas heard it all heard the entire thing in the hallway. They both had a secret now. How long could they avoid each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg!
> 
> I was so excited to write this chapter! Its the big one, sorry to give it away but I just hate when I don't know when it's gunna happen. 
> 
> Please leave comments and Kudos so I know if I am doing it right.

They both avoided each other actively for the next few weeks. They both held a secret. Jimmy getting off to Thomas and Thomas knowing this. Their secrets were equally as important. They would dance around each other in an effective way as to know have to make eye contact or speak any unnecessary words to each other. They both wanted to talk about it but couldn’t find the courage.

The evening had fallen after a relatively easy day. Thomas liked to stay up late to read the papers and have a last cigarette. After Thomas had finished his newspaper he went out for his last cigarette of the night. To his surprise he found Jimmy outside smoking as well.

“Oh Jimmy, hello” Thomas said in a surprised tone. Thomas proceeded to take out his cigarette and light it.

“Thomas” Jimmy said through puffs of his cigarette. The two men stayed at a very far distance from each other and didn’t speak at all.

“Jimmy... I miss... umm... having your friendship” Thomas said. Jimmy looked up from his cigarette and nodded in his direction.

“Me too” he replied, “why haven’t we spoken all week?” He laughed. He knew why he hadn’t but why hasn’t Thomas tried and talk to him.

“Busy I supposed” Thomas replied take another drag of his cigarette.

“That’s not it. But anyways we are friends again. So, we can move on. I have some more whiskey. Care for another drink?” Jimmy asked politely, almost with a nervous tone. As he remembers what happened last time they shared a drink. Thomas nodded his head in agreement and both men finished their cigarette and headed up stairs to fetch the bottle and head to Thomas’ room.

Jimmy sat down in the now fixed chair and begun to drink from the whiskey bottle. Thomas sat down on the bed and got comfortable before taking the bottle and drinking a few sips.

About an hour later both were tipsier then the first time as they both wanted to pass the awkwardness.

“Jimmy, I... umm... what were you doing a few weeks ago in the hallway?” Thomas asked bluntly. Jimmy spat out his whiskey and turned a shade of light red. Jimmy didn’t know what to reply. He started to question what Thomas knew. Did he hear everything?

“Nothing” Jimmy replied hastily as to not raise suspicion. But Thomas looked at him with disbelief.

“Jimmy, I know” Thomas said, “I know what you were doing”. Thomas now the one who is turning red. Their secrets were out. “you don’t have to be afraid. We’re friends. You can tell me anything”. Jimmy was having a hard time to reply, he didn’t know how to answer. “It’s alright, I am sort of flattered” Thomas said to try and put Jimmy at ease.

Jimmy was completely flustered. He doesn’t know how to reply to him. He wants to tell him the truth to just to straight forward because he is tired of hiding it. He has been avoiding and hiding these past weeks. He put a lot of thought into it, but he thinks he fancies him. He fancies a man. How could this be. But there was no going back now Jimmy thought. Thomas knows what he did in the hallway. Jimmy lunged from his chair onto the bed and onto Thomas. Jimmy paused for a second and then proceeded to kiss Thomas passionately. This time Thomas didn’t hesitate, he kissed him back right away and started to slow it down to make it almost romantic.

Thomas pulled away from the kiss and stared at Jimmy “What... why are you doing this?” Thomas asked.

“I don’t know. I just know, I know now that I want you, Thomas Barrow” Jimmy replied and returned to kissing. Just like his daydream Jimmy kissed him on his neck and back to his lips again. He was touching him all over and so was Thomas. In all the commotion Jimmy managed to take off Thomas’ jacket along with his own. Thomas started to undo Jimmy’s waist coat and threw it by the jackets. Thomas couldn’t control himself. He pushed on Jimmy’s hips so he would move to straddle his hips.

The moment Jimmy straddled Thomas he just froze. He was startled by the feeling of their pricks touching of their hard pricks touching. Thomas placed a hand on Jimmy’s face “we can stop if you’d like... I’d understand” Thomas said kindly.

“No Thomas, please I don’t want to stop, I was simply taking in the moment” Jimmy replied and leaned down to kiss Thomas very slowly and almost lovingly. “Maybe we can take it slow”

“As slow as you would like it” Thomas replied and sat up and laid soft kisses on Jimmy’s neck. “Jimmy, may I take your shirt off?” asked Thomas in the most loving voice. Jimmy gazed into his eyes and started to laugh.

“Thomas, slow but not that slow. But yes, you may take my shirt off” Jimmy replied and sat straight up to make it easier for Thomas. He unbuttoned the shirt starting from the top. Every button felt like an eternity for Jimmy. Thomas never lost eye contact with Jimmy. This moment was becoming romantic for the footman. Thomas made the unbuttoning of the shirt the sexiest thing Jimmy has ever seen. He took it slow and sensual. Jimmy could have almost peaked if Thomas were to take too long. Finally, he reached the last button on Jimmy’s shirt and he slowly slipped the shirt off his shoulders and threw it to the pile of their clothes. Thomas paused and looked with wonder at Jimmy’s built body, his jaw dropped. His hairless muscled chest which flowed perfectly into his defined abdomen. His golden skin glistened in the moon light and his perfect curled hair fell on his face. Thomas was in amazement by this perfect man. He was captivated by him and his perfect body, by his laugh, by his humour. He was simply perfect in Thomas’ eyes.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something? Or are you just captivated by my beauty?” Jimmy asked jokingly because he knew, Thomas was admiring his beauty as he did the first day he arrived. “Kiss me, you foul” Jimmy chuckled. Thomas smirked at Jimmy and then engulfed the footman’s lips with his. He continued to kiss down his neck and onto his chest. Suddenly, Thomas took control and flipped Jimmy over onto his back and continued to kiss his chest. He reached the footman’s pink nipple and began to nibble on it which made Jimmy release a small moan. The moan made Thomas want more. He wanted all of Jimmy. The under butler moved his lips down to Jimmy’s trousers and kissed just above the waist band. This sent shivers down both their backs. Thomas looked up at Jimmy and pleaded him to let him in.

“Yes” he replied, and Thomas started to pull at his trousers. Soon they were on the floor and it was not nearly as sexy as the shirt. Thomas was still in amazement. This made Jimmy feel uncomfortable and tried to cover his nether regions.

“You don’t have to be ashamed in front of me” Thomas said kindly. With this reassurance Jimmy moved his hands to relieve his fully erect prick. Thomas leaned down, and kissed Jimmy slowly and then moved down his body until he was once again at his waist this time without trousers. He looked one last time at Jimmy and continued further down. Jimmy fliched when Thomas brushed his hands over his penis, but Thomas did it again and again. Eventually Jimmy enjoyed the sensation, the soft strokes that Thomas provided. Jimmy looked Thomas right in the eyes the whole time.

“Use your mouth” Jimmy blurted to Thomas’ surprise. The under butler did as he was bid and placed his mouth over Jimmy. The footman threw his head back into the pillow as Thomas bobbed up and down. Moans were released from Jimmy to Thomas’ delight. Thomas moved faster and faster and Jimmy moaned louder and louder. It felt like a warm and soft blanket was over Jimmy’s manhood. He really knows what his doing Jimmy thought better then most girls. Then he abruptly stopped.

“Not yet” Thomas said, “There is more if you want”. Jimmy looked at Thomas with confusion and then it dawned on him. He knew what he meant. He wanted either for Jimmy to be buggered or to do the buggering. He hoped dearly it was the latter. With that Jimmy’s face flushed red.

“I want all of it” Jimmy replied and let Thomas take charge.

“It’s a little… well to some it can be disgusting” Thomas said as he lowered his head. Jimmy leaned up towards Thomas and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Nothing you do can be disgusting Thomas” Jimmy whispered into his ear. Thomas reached down under his mattress and pulled out a small jar of lubrication.

“What is that?” Jimmy asked.

“Umm… lubrication because you see, its quite small you see and—” Thomas was cut off by Jimmy. A sign of relief came when he realized he was doing the buggering.

“I understand. Umm… do you need my help, or do you do it by yourself” Jimmy asked cautiously.

“Normally the other man would do it, but this time I will do it. I don’t want to force you to do something like this” Thomas answered. Jimmy didn’t protest and just nodded his head in agreement. Jimmy watched Thomas closely as he took the rest of his clothes off and it was his turn to admire Thomas’ figure. He thought he was right handsome with his broad shoulders and chest, his muscular arms and legs. Jimmy’s gaze became fixed on the mans prick and felt a sudden relief when he remembered he was being bugger and thank god because it was big. Jimmy had never seen another mans before and he was almost mesmerized by it.

“Like what you see Jimmy?” Thomas chuckled. This snapped Jimmy out of his trance and just smiled at Thomas. The under butler came back to sit on the bed and opened the jar. “Jimmy, you don’t have too look. You might find it disgusting” Thomas said looking down at the jar.

“I am not looking away” Jimmy pipped almost like he was proud to look. With tat Thomas stuck a finger into the jar and laid on his back next to Jimmy. He looked one more time over at Jimmy for reassurance. Jimmy gave to sign of fault, so he proceeded. Thomas assumed an awkward position and begun to insert the lubricated finger into his hole. After some time, he inserted another and then another. Jimmy hadn’t looked away during the whole process, he became quite curious by Thomas.

“Umm… I believe I am good now. Jimmy are you alright?” Thomas asked. Jimmy was still very curious and wanted nothing more then to continue.

“Yes. What now? I mean I think I know what, but I guess I don’t know how” Jimmy replied. Thomas let out a quiet laugh and kissed Jimmy.

“Just like a girl. You know what to do” Thomas replied, and this made Jimmy blush. Jimmy moved on the bed so that he was on top of Thomas and looking down on him. Jimmy rubbed his hand up Thomas’ stomach and up to his chest then back down all while admiring the older man’s physique. He looked back at Thomas’ eyes and he positioned himself so. He caressed Thomas’ face and he thrust into him. Jimmy’s head flew back as he felt the tight hole close around him. Thomas smiled at Jimmy’s pleasure knowing he was the cause. Jimmy pulled back slowly and thrust in again making Thomas moaned this time. Jimmy continued with a few kisses here and there. With both almost at their climax, Thomas looked deeply into Jimmy’s eyes. As Jimmy made one last thrust Thomas blurted out “I love you, Jimmy Kent” as he climaxed alongside Jimmy. After a few seconds, Jimmy had fallen to the side of Thomas. Jimmy was exhausted and delighted. He had never felt anything like that before. He wanted more, and he wanted nothing less then Thomas now.

“Thomas, did you mean it?” Jimmy asked while trying to catch hos breathe. Thomas was doing the same. Once he had caught his breathe he replied.

“Of course. I have long before today” he said to the footman. Jimmy was asleep before he could even replied. Jimmy had fallen asleep on Thomas’ chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate when fic end with this and then you are like left with nothing so I am not ending it here!
> 
> Please comment and hit that <3 button!


	5. The Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy wasn't sure about himself after that night so he had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wasn't as into this chapter as I was with the previous so I apologize for the lack. 
> 
> Please comment and give me feedback!

The alarm went off well before the usual time the rest of the servants would wake up. This would give Jimmy a sufficient amount of time to sneak out of Thomas’ room. The under butler woke up first and turned off the alarm then proceeded to lightly rub Jimmy’s head. Thomas now understood why Jimmy was always late for breakfast in the morning. Jimmy finally slowly started to open his eyes. He enjoyed the rubbing and didn’t want it to stop. He thought about it for a second and then remembered. He remembered the previous night and what had happened. He didn’t feel happiness or bliss like e had thought but, in fact he felt fear and guilt. Jimmy suddenly sprung up from the bed and went to grab his clothes.

“Jimmy, what’s wrong?” Thomas asked. But he received no reply as Jimmy quickly put on his pants and left the room.

Jimmy quietly snuck back to his own bedroom and laid down quietly as to not wake Alfred.  He begun to cry, very quietly and softly but cry. He didn’t understand what had happened last night, but he was afraid of himself of Thomas. What he had done with Thomas was despicable in his eyes, in societies eyes. He broke the law. But he also felt something else. He felt good, happy almost like this is what he wanted. But it couldn’t be, it can be Jimmy exclaimed in his head. This isn’t right, and he couldn’t let it continue. Jimmy laid in his bed for the rest of the night, just thinking of his confusing feelings. He questioned himself, his feelings, Thomas and his feelings. What did it all mean. Soon enough Alfred’s alarm went off and he had to begin his day. His day with Thomas.

Jimmy ate his breakfast as quickly as he could and left the dinning hall with little to no words spoken to anyone. He begun his regular duties in silence for the rest of the day. There was a very important luncheon that was to happen today, so Jimmy was able to keep busy.

He stood in the dinning hall thinking of that night again. He replayed every kiss in his head. Every touch, every sensation, everything. He couldn’t help himself. He exchanged a few glances with Thomas but avoided speaking to him at all costs.

“James, I think you best excuse yourself and let Thomas’ take over” Mr. Carson said with his booming voice. Jimmy looked at Mr. Carson with a puzzled expression.

“Mr. Carson, I do not understand” Jimmy replied. Mr. Carson cleared his throat and glanced downwards. This drew Jimmy’s attention and he noticed it. He noticed that he had a hardon. Jimmy quickly sat the tray down on the ledge and exited hastily without even a single glance back at Thomas.

He hurried back to his room and shut the door as he was mortified. Had Thomas seen this he questioned. Jimmy sat on his bed puzzled. Why did this happen to him and more importantly why hasn’t it gone away. Sitting in his bed even after all his embarrassment, he still had a hardon. Jimmy begun to think of nothing but that failed then he tried to think of the grosses thing possible but still it was there. He only knew of one way to get rid of it and that was to relieve himself. He lowered his pants just enough and begun to stroke himself. He tried to think of women, of Lady Anstruther, even of Ivy but, the only imagine he could conjure was of Thomas. He let himself relax and think of Thomas. Jimmy didn’t take long and before he knew it he was whispering Thomas’ name as he blew.

Later that night, after dinner, Jimmy remained in his room. He was still angry with himself about what had happened earlier that day. He was still angry about what happened the other night. Jimmy sat in his bed pondering his feelings. What does this mean, why does he fancy Thomas? Why did he do this? Jimmy couldn’t let this happen. He must fix this. He had a plan.

* * *

 

            The following day, it was Jimmy’s day off and he originally planned on just staying in Downton but now he was going to York. Jimmy had packed and left before breakfast, he wanted to take full advantage of his time away. His time to refresh himself and realign himself with his perceived values. He was going to find a woman nd do what he knows best.

            In the evening after going to a few shops and he went down to a local pub and had some dinner with a drink or two of course. There was a young girl in the pub aswell. She noticed Jimmy right when he walked in and hasn’t stopped glancing at him. After he had finished his dinner, he proceeded to stand up and go to the girl.

            “Like what you see then” Jimmy said with confidence.

            “Quite confident, maybe its vain, you are” the young girl replied. She had long blonde hair which Jimmy preferred and soft pale eyes.

            “Care for a drink,” He asked. The girl simply nodded. “Jimmy,” he declared holding out his hand.

            “Clara, nice to meet you Jimmy,” she said eyeing him and smirking.

            A few hours later of dancing and drinking Jimmy was taking the girl to his cheap hotel room. The girl was eager to have found a man such as Jimmy. She was also quite drunk, and Jimmy took advantage. He quickly took his jacket and shirt off and proceeded to work on the girl, to work on Clara. He was kissing her passionately and very rough. She let out a few squeaks here and there but was as invested at Jimmy. Once he reached her bare skin, her bare womanly sift skin, he started to kiss slowly down her neck and onto her nipple. He sucked it roughly and continued down take her dress with him. He had eventually gotten her to the bed and started to fuck her roughly. He was done with the acted very quickly and laid down on the bed with Clara. There was not much romance involved in this as Jimmy just wanted to prove his manliness and not think of Thomas. Suddenly, the memory of Thomas and that night and all his feeling came rushing in. He hadn’t thought of him this entire day.

            “Who is she?” asked Clara in a very gentle voice. Jimmy was startled by this statement and what taken a back.

            “What do you mean?” he asked.

            “You were not fully there during it and just now you look sad as if you miss someone” Clara clarified. He did not realize he was almost about to cry. He came here to reassure his manliness and that’s what he was doing.

            “No one dear Clara, only you,” Jimmy said and flipped her over onto her back and started to ravish her lips and neck. He fucked her again but this time with the thought of Thomas lingering closer in his mind. After it was all over he had out his clothes on this time.

            “Done so soon, Jimmy” Clara asked.

            “I must be getting back to the Abbey soon” he said and kissed her on her forehead.

            “One second, let me get ready and walk you to the bus” she replied.

            She walked him to the bus stop and they exchanged a few words about what it was like to work at the Abbey. She told him a bit about her life and what she did. They arrived just in time for Jimmy to catch the last bus back to Downton.

            “Go to her. Tell her how you feel,” Clara said with a kind smile and a hand on Jimmy’s face. But it wasn’t a her at all in fact it was a him. A very tall, pale skinned him, one with the most loving smile and lips he’s ever seen.

            “Thank you, Clara. I will certainly write to you,” he replied and kissed her one last time.

            Jimmy retuned late at night to the Abbey and walked into the servant’s hall where Mr. barrow and Baxter were sitting. As usual Baxter had her sowing machine out and was sowing a red garment. He did even say a word to Thomas’ and turned around and continued upstairs.

            This behavior and avoiding of Thomas went on for several weeks. Jimmy wasn’t able to forgive himself, no that’s not it, he couldn’t accept what had happened, what he was. He couldn’t let himself fall into Mr. Barrow’s trap again. Therefore, he must avoid him.


	6. The Ad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas was also feeling confused and wanted to have a big change in his life but how will this affect Jimmy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to make this chapter just from Thomas' point of view then i just lost inspiration so I made it both. 
> 
> Please comment and leave feedback. Also, don't forget to leave Kudos!!

As planned Jimmy avoided Thomas even more then before. He was afraid of what he was and of what he meant. Thomas was confused, he didn’t understand why Jimmy was ignoring him. He had shared such an intimate moment with him and now he hasn’t even spent a single regular moment with him. Jimmy would always ask Mr. Carson directly or go to Alfred for help. Its as if Thomas’ didn’t exist to him anymore. He was heartbroken. Thomas’ tried several times to speak with Jimmy in private then at the dinner table, any moment would do. He just needed him.

            Thomas sat up on this bed in his room alone, crying. The tears were so think and heavy that the occasional gasp would leave his mouth. He didn’t understand why he was the way he was. This thought made him cry even more and he begun to smash his head against the wall behind his bed. He was so frustrated with Jimmy, with himself. HE had pushed Jimmy to far and now it was all over.

            Eventually, the sun rose in the morning and Thomas’ cheeks were stained with his tears. The day had to go on as normal he thought. Thomas eventually had enough courage to get up and prepare himself for another day of Jimmy ignoring him. He looked at himself in the mirror and was disgusted. He was so ashamed of himself and who he was, what he was. Suddenly a light bulb went off in his mind. Thomas’ face almost had a smile. Thomas hurried to his bed and reached underneath and tucked away was a newspaper ad “Choose your own path”.

            Later that day, after Thomas had finished with the luncheon he had asked Mr.Carson to use the phone privately. He was so hopeful that this would be the solution. That he could be like the rest of the world. He would be normal and maybe then he and Jimmy could be friends.

            “Hello operator, The London Press “Choose your own path”, please” Thomas asked through the telephone. He wanted a moment and then the phone was answered.

            “Hello, Choose your own path, how may we help you today?” the voice on the phone said.

            “Oh hello, umm… I have… umm…I’d like to…” Thomas tied to reply.

            “Sir, there is nothing to worry about here,” the voice said.

            “Oh yes right. Well, I’d like to change… I have a problem, you know, and I am not normal. I would like to change,” Thomas said in an almost whisper like voice. The conversation went on and Thomas had booked an appointment for the following week in London.

* * *

 

            The train had begun to slow down, and Thomas was getting anxious. He had requested the entire week off and given the excuse that is father was sick. Mr. Carson reluctantly agreed. The under butler was nervous for his appointment. He didn’t know if this was what he wanted for sure. Did he not want to feel anything for Jimmy anymore? He loved Jimmy, but he didn’t want Jimmy to hate him anymore. Thomas had known he was this way since he was young. He was always more drawn to men then women. He always thought that men were the most beautiful thing in the world. He thought Jimmy was the most beautiful thing in the world. His blue eyes, his strong jaw line and his laugh, Thomas couldn’t get enough.

            His appointment was in the middle of the week, so Thomas had a few days to explore London. He had only been here a handful of times, but he still loved coming here. Thomas caught a cab from the train station to his hotel room to put his bags down. He had caught the evening train, so it was around dinner time. Thomas had found a nice restaurant and sat down alone and ate his dinner. He imagined Jimmy sitting in the empty chair across from him. They were laughing and exchanging some shy looks. Jimmy would even sometimes brush his hand across Thomas’ when they both reached for the same thing. This is what Thomas wanted more then anything. He just wanted to spend time with Jimmy, he just wanted to talk to Jimmy. Thomas was torn between what he wanted with Jimmy and what Jimmy wanted with him.

* * *

 

            “Mrs. Baxter, where is Thomas?” Jimmy inquired.

            “London” he replied while sewing more clothes for her ladyship.

            “Why?” he continued.

            “His father is… umm… sick” she replied cautiously. Baxter was close with Thomas’ family once and she know his father well. She knew that he wasn’t truly sick.

            “Oh… Mrs. Baxter, that wasn’t convincing, why did he really go to London?” Jimmy asked again wit more concern.

            Mrs. Baxter grabbed Jimmy by the arm and stood up and led him around the corner into the boot room and shut the door. “Jimmy, he didn’t in fact go to London to see his dad, he… well, he didn’t tell me exactly, but I overheard him on the phone last week and he went to… you know what Thomas is right, you know that he fancies the stronger sex, your sex,” Jimmy nodded and blushed, but she continued, “well, he wants to change that. He mentioned on the phone “Choose your own path” so I went to find an old paper and I saw the ad. It said electrotherapy, so I assumed it was to change him, to make him more like you or Alfred,” she said. Jimmy’s cheeks turned red when she mentioned that he wanted to be like him. Jimmy wasn’t normal, he had done things.

            “So, he is not in London for his father, Jimmy. He is trying to change himself,” Mrs. Baxter ended.

            “That is terrible,” Jimmy was so flustered he couldn’t speak anymore. He didn’t know what to say.

            “It is, he should accept himself,” she said “Jimmy, well, I think you should go find him. I know how you feel about him,” he continued. Jimmy almost fell on to his knees when he heard that. She couldn’t know anything. He hadn’t told anyone about anything. The only other person that knew would have been Thomas.

            “You are best mates and he needs your help,” he continued. Jimmy had a small smirk on his face and a sense of relief came over his entire body.

            “Oh yes, best mates, I suppose,” Jimmy replied. He left the boot room and went to his room. He begun to think of what he has done to Thomas. That night, all the nights they had sepent together had come flooding back to his mind and he couldn’t control it. His feelings came rushing back and he couldn’t hide it anymore. He was beginning to blush and smile, and he knew that he was utterly in love with Thomas. He was wrong to deny it before and deny Thomas. He was the cause of Thomas’ destress. He did this.

            Jimmy exited his room in a haste and went down to see Mr. Carson in his office.

            “Mr. Carson, may I please have tomorrow and Wednesday off?” Jimmy asked nervously.

            “James, why do you need this unscheduled day off?” Mr. Carson replied.

            “I need to go get something in London urgently,” the footman said.

            “Well that was not the best excuse, Mr. Kent. Unfortunately, you are going to be needed tomorrow evening as there is a number of guests coming over for dinner. But you may have Wednesday and Thursday off as the family will be away, and you can leave after the dinner tomorrow, if it is not too late for the train,” Mr. Carson said in his booming voice.

            “Yes, thank you Mr. Carson,” Jimmy replied in a cheerful voice. For the rest of the evening Jimmy begun to pack for this trip. He had to ask Mrs. Baxter for some money for the hotel as he would need a place to stay overnight. He had no idea where Thomas would be staying but he had to try. London was a big place and Jimmy had only been once.

* * *

 

            Jimmy was hurrying to change out of his uniform and into his own clothes. On his way down, he caught Mrs. Baxter in the staircase.

            “Jimmy, are you going to Thomas?” she whispered.

            “Yes. I hope I can find him,” he replied.

            “He will most likely be staying in the Barker inn and pub, he likes that one,” she informed him. Jimmy continued down the stairs and out the house.

            The train ride for Jimmy was long. He thought about the night with Thomas as usual. There wasn’t a night when that didn’t cross his mind. This time was different he thought of the future with Thomas, he thought of there lives if they lived in London together. He knew then that he didn’t want anything else other then to be with Thomas.

            When Jimmy finally arrived in London, it was the earlier hours of the morning. He had collected his bags and flagged down a taxi. The taxi driver took Jimmy to the hotel where Thomas was hopefully staying. The sun was just beginning to rise at this point and Jimmy went to go inside. Jimmy didn’t know how to ask the clerk if Thomas was here. He wasn’t skilled in the game of being sneaking and clever. He didn’t know how to know here Thomas’ room was.

            “Excuse me, I would like a room,” Jimmy asked the clerk.

            “Certainly, you will just need to sign the register,” the clerk said. A light went off in Jimmy’s head and he knew that he could find Thomas’ name and room. He opened the book and right near the top of the page was Thomas Barrow’s name and he was in room 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! 
> 
> What will happen with Thomas and Jimmy? Will Thomas reject him because of what Jimmy has done or will they have a happy, loving reunion?
> 
> Please comment your suggestions and feedback ! Don't forget to give it Kudos!


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